28. First meltdown

So today I had what Dan called my first proper meltdown. Which isn't bad going since its been just over 4 months since my diagnosis!

I've been feeling a bit blah all week but today (being a Wednesday) I have just felt crap.

I wanted to achieve 2 things today, collect and set up my new laptop and then back up and reset my old laptop.

Neither of these got done.

Well I did pick up my new laptop from Yeovil and did start setting it up, bit the track pad didn't feel right, it had too much movement and was really noisy. I googled it ans it is a reported issue. So I rang Currys about getting an exchange, they said thats not a problem. I asked them to check that Yeovil had stock and they said they did. So I drove back to Yeovil again to find the only stock they have is the display model. FFS.

Couldn't get an exchange, and couldn't get a refund as it was bought on Dan's card. So I said I would order another one and get Dan to return the faulty one next week.

One plus side is the laptop has now gone down in price! Currys is was £30 off but I found HP had it at £50 off! So that's more than covered the 2 trips to Yeovil!

But at the moment, no new laptop to play with 😓

My old laptop I was trying to back up on my hard drive. But of course it didn't want to read my hard drive. I installed new drivers and checked it. It says it was all working fine, but I still couldn't view any files. The only thing left was to format it. I'm just hoping I had nothing important on it.

I managed to back up the laptop and started to reset it....why does everything take so long. Its only just finished resetting. So I'll finish that tomorrow now.

So what pushed me over the edge was I got frustrated and grumpy at Dan for drinking on a school night. It's his was to wind now after a stressful day.

I was annoyed that I don't get to wind down, the stress of everything is there 24/7 for me at the moment.

I stormed off to the bedroom in tears.

After a bit I calmed down enough to go and apologise to Dan and just say that I'm fed up with everything at the moment. I look and feel like crap and I've still got a way to go before I'm well again.

Few more tears and a hug later, I'm back to my "normal" self. I say "normal" as my normal isn't 2019 normal, just how I've been so far this year. (2020 don't count!!)

I'm hoping my mood will improve more for the rest of the week as I hate feeling like this.

I'm sure once the surgery has been done on Monday that will be a weight lifter as I'll be one step closer to the end of my treatment.

Happy Nurses Day & Fibromyalgia Awareness Day 😀