41. Mental Health Awareness

It's Mental Health Awareness day and it is a subject close to my heart. In one of my earliest blogs I talk about my depression and how important it is to talk.

But I find myself again in a place where I feel like crap but down really want to talk to people about it. There are a few reasons why;

- Don't want to show my vulnerability

- Don't want to bother people

- Don't want to face it

- Don't really know why I'm feeling like this

These "Don't"s need to change to "Do"s

I joined a Breast Cancer Support group last night asking about feelings after treatment. One lady replied with some good info.

During treatment your body is in fight and flight mode...now this has come to an end my body and emotions are now catching up and letting it all out.

I've cried about 4 times over the last 2 days and except for going to Dan for a hug I haven't said anything to anyone.

So on Monday...

- I'm going to contact the doctors to see if my medication can be changed.

- I'm going to contact the Breast Cancer counselling team to speak to them.

- I'm also meeting with another Breast Cancer survivor for a coffee and cake!

Hopefully talking about things will just put my mind at ease. Not that I'm worried about anything. It's just the emotions.

It hasn't helped that since stopping treatment my Fibromyalgia pain has come back with a vengeance.

Pain makes anyone tired and irritable.

But I need to try and get my life back to some sort of normality now. I will be starting work in a weeks time, going back as a phased return to take it slow.

I'm also signed up with a PT to get my fitness back.

I want to be walking everyday and make sure I eat health and drink plenty.

Life seems too short to waste.

So even if I'm not quite my happy smiley self at the moment, I'm ready to fight to get it back.