48. The end is nigh...Well the end of 2021 anyway...

For quite a few years now I've found this time of year quite difficult. I think I wish it would be just like it was when we were little.

All the Christmas hype meant something and you looked forward to it, but now it seems more of a chore. I know, I sound a bit like the Grinch and I don't mean to. I wish I was more jolly. But I've really struggled this year to find the Christmas spirit.

I should be on a high since finishing my treatment, but there always seem to be something that reminds me that it's not quite finished.

As mentioned in my previous post, my boob and should have been hurting. I did pop and see the surgeon about it as the breast care nurse was concerned I had some cording, but she took a look at it and said all was fine. She was unsure why would shoulder was so bad, she said I must have just injured it in some way.

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/impacts-of-cancer/cording-after-surgery-for-breast-cancer

Literally a day after seeing the surgeon my shoulder felt 10x better. I wonder if it was just stress and I was holding my shoulder in the wrong position. After I relaxed for a day it felt better.

I've still had a few twinges but at least it doesn't hurt when I move it now.

Oh, but the surgeon did have to ask me where my scar was, she done the surgery but she struggled to spot the incision site...she was very impressed on how its healed. I will have to add another pic at some stage!

Another thing that reminds me I'm not 100% over my treatment, is my fatigue. I managed to get my working hours up to 5 hours a day before the Christmas break. But the last few days I was having to take a nap at 10am, just 2 hours after I started work. I could barely keep my eyes open. Again this is normal after having radiotherapy and the fatigue can last over a year. I suffer with chronic fatigue anyway, so I should be used to it, but it still knocks me for 6 and makes me feel very low.

However, I want to really kick it's arse at the start of next year. Get a regular routine and more exercise. Hopefully that will help.

Finally that last kicker, is a close family member has had their cancer come back after many years. They started chemo just before Christmas. With that and covid it ruined their Christmas plans, which I know they were very upset about.

This is just a big reminder that you are never 100% cancer free. Doctors cannot say what the percentage of it coming back is, as they just don't know.

Again, this is why it's so important to get to know your body and report any lumps and bumps.

So, 3 days until 2022...what will that year bring?

Covid is rampaging again. I'm being quite selfish but I hope restrictions don't come into place in January. I have so many plans for my Birthday and Dan's 40th. I'd like to be able to do some celebrating, it's been a long time coming.

Why am I awake at 1am on a Wednesay morning I hear you ask!?

Well, I got my 3rd period of the year! Yay(!?!?) 🙃

It's been a while since having period pains and they have been keeping me up. Plus my anxiety was playing up earlier so took some beta blockers and they cause issues sleeping.

So I'm downstairs on a little mattress, with a hot water bottle and a very nice new blanket I bought with my Christmas money, watching Most Haunted with a Hot Chocolate! 😆

I know, random!

My hair is getting quite long now, I bought some red hair wax to experiment with and it made it looks so long! What do you think!?

See, it's very flat if I don't spike it up!! Lol

Anyway, I hope everyone has a good Christmas 🎄 and I'll speak to you all again in 2022!

😍🥰