52. What do you want to do when you grow up?

It's one of those questions I still ask myself now.

Being one of those people that tends to be a "Jack of all trades, Master of none" it's difficult to know what I want to do.

After the cancer you do reevaluate your life and wonder how I can make a difference. But I just don't know what...

So any suggestions, feel free to send them in on a postcard! 🤣

When I was in primary school, I remember sitting in a circle in the main hall and the head master asking us what we want to be when we grown up. I said a mechanic...his reply was, "are you sure you done mean maniac!?"

I guess my personality back then I was quite a laugh to be around. My friends called me flipping mental, I was always a bit of a joker.

I miss being that person. Doesn't help that being on anti-depressants literally depress your mood. I've been on them for 9+ years now. They are meant to help with the pain of fibromyalgia. Not sure that they do as I'm still in pain. So one day it would be nice to get off them.

Anyway, I digress slightly, back to what I want to be when I grow up...

Um, one thing I would settle with now is not being in pain.

That's one thing they didn't really tell me before the cancer treatment, is the long term side effects.

The Lymphoedema in my boob is so uncomfortable. And the only thing I can do at the moment is massage and take paracetamol, which I might as well be eating tic tacs!

I would ring the doctor for stronger pain killers, but after the last 50min wait getting through to them not sure it's worth it.

However I do have an appointment with the Lymphedema clinic at the start of next month, so roll on April!

I have had a slight mid life crisis, and bought a modern car! For me, that's not heard of! Modern cars do lack character, but least it's a reliable car. I'm looking forward to taking it up to Scotland with my sister in July!

Anyway, again, what do I want to be when I grow up??